How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
