their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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