Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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