He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I got inside last night via doggy door
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
