I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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