evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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