return my video game
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize