lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
There r osticjed everywhere
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Randomize
