Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
