You work out of a Hotel?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
