Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
