I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
