I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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