whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
