My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
