currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
