Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
