She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
