No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
