I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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