I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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