I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
This is the high leading the old right now
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So vagazzling was a success
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
