he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
