Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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