So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
then he tried to convert me to islam
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
