I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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