Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
