i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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