Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
