So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
