omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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