I must be too annoying 4 u.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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