She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
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