why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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