Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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