Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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