I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
