She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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