True but thats because hes a fetus.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
