So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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