yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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