His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Randomize
