Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I should be sponsored by Trojan
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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