Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
