Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
