I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
