and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
