I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
