Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
