Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
